Humble-Ties

I have a question. I'm a 26 year old working in financial services in New York City. I have a couple Hermes ties and while I love them, they seem too old for me. I also have a number of Vineyard Vines ties but they seem too young. Any ideas? Connor Fused



Dear Con,

You're in a predicament. However, you've provided enough information to work with. A young man (under 35) in an Hermes tie comes off looking, at worse, pretentious -- over reaching at best. Also, older men (over 40) in your office don't like you simply because you're 26. They'll look for anything to disparage and what you wear is an easy target.



I was 21 and driving for a colonel just before I got out of the army. I had known him for about a year, respected him and was flattered he specifically requested me as his driver. Coming out of a G-3 briefing, he climbed into the jeep and said, "Sergeant, I'm so confused I don't know whether to wind my ass or scratch my watch." I'll never forget that or what he told me next.



He told me I was a smart ass. Not so much because of what I wore. Except for his rank and C.I.B., our uniforms and footwear matched perfectly. He told me it was how I walked and talked. He also told me that people would either like me or hate me with no in between. I remember sighing a plaintiff, "Jesus, sir?"



Which reminds me of the time a chaplain in the field was chewing me out for my helmet graffiti which read, "Kill a Commie for Christ." This same colonel came to my rescue and told the chaplain that, "...it's his fucking job to kill Commies and if he wants to kill 'em for Christ, that's his business."



I'm getting off track here so let me wind scratch this up. I said, "Jesus, sir?" and the colonel said not to get him wrong. He loved smart asses but he wasn't everyone. He told me, "You need to be humble. I'm not saying you can't be you -- I'm telling you to be humble 'cause you don't need to wave your flag. It's big enough for everyone to see." I thanked him although I have managed to ignore his advice pretty much the whole of my life.



I don't know if you're a fellow smart ass, Con. But I do have some advice. 'Humble' is not a word you associate with Hermes while 'insipid' is what a designer I know calls Vineyard Vines. If you want something with Hermes gravitas while following my colonel's advice for humility, try Ferragamo. Not the shoes. They're not humble. The ties. As elegant as Hermes but not nearly as in-your-face assertive, the Ferragamo tie walks a fine line of understated style and restraint. Grown up but not middle aged. They're not cheap ($170) but women love giving them as gifts while old farts like me will hate you just a little less.



Update: I have just been advised the colonel retired a major general. I'm guessing I should've taken his advice.

Off My Back: E. Crew & Ecru

"Every man should have at least one ecru shirt in his closet." So said the men at Herzfeld. If you want a shopping experience close to what it must have been like in the glory days of the 1930s then Herzfeld may be the only place left. At least in NYC.

I haven't owned an ecru shirt since I worked at Brooks Brothers in the 80s. It was a "Makers" button down and it paired well with a wool tie of hunter green mixed with red and yellow pheasant or horse and rider. It was quiet and elegant and looked good on anyone.

This Hausammann + Moos double cuff shirt is too formal for a wool club tie but the ecru still works understatement by calming down what would be too much contrast with a white shirt. I like to think of this as Trad Italian since the jacket and tie are both from Italy. Many of you know that pocket squares bother me but since this is an Italian effort... Well, when in Rome.

I was thinking about the old J Crew catalogs from the early 90s and how each one seemed to tell a story. Lots of normal looking kids huddled around a beat up Land Cruiser with a Wire Fox Terrier in the foreground and grey haired parents in the background with a beautiful vacation pile on a pine tree encircled lake in Maine. Maybe it was Wisconsin. They kinda look the same.

J Crew isn't going away. Herzfeld might. So I had this idea of J Crew creating a new brand of top shelf apparel. Stuff made in France, Italy, England and the US with a focus on quality but at a not too dear price negotiated by J Crew's huge orders. I'd call it E. Crew, short for Ed, who was the dad in those catalogs years ago. The dad who lost the squared inseam / waist 15 years ago but knows quality and value when he sees it.

E. Crew would offer side vent jackets made from butter-like wool from Italy. Thick English silk ties with matching boxers instead of matching pocket squares. French gloves in gold calf with cashmere linings in Tiffany blue. Maine button downs with unlined collars and 12 oz khakis made in Brooklyn. Heirloom goods that speak to the elegance of the past and worn with the comfortable thought that this stuff may very well out live you. E. Crew. That's my fantasy store.