Unequal Society

     Reading the five essays from Colonize This, I was especially struck by reading the story of Ijeoma A. entitled "Because You're a Girl". It is clear from her tale that Nigerian traditional values are still in play as strong as ever in her home village and I found the stresses her family put on her quite shocking. She was the only girl in the whole family full of boys and men. I thought tat perhaps she would have at least had some help from somebody else in her family. So many chores were bestowed upon her that it wasn't fair. Her parents wanted to turn her into a perfect housewife, a young women gift wrapped ready to be sent off and married. The woman was clearly subordinate to the male. While I understand that her parents wanted to save her from a life of loneliness via spinsterhood, trying to make her happy in a roundabout way, she had no free time and despite gaining acceptance into Oberlin College, it must have severely impacted her studies. 

     This wish for her parents to keep Ijeoma happy via  marriage to a man who she would be slave to for the rest of her life connects well I think to the story "Chappels and Gym Shorts" by Almas Sayeed. Her parents, father especially, wanted her to enter into a 2 year marriage plan so that she would not be lonely. They wanted her when she was younger to fulfill the traditional Muslim women as laid out by the faith. Almas did not fit into these ideals and so concerned her parents who would try ever harder to allow her to conform. Both Ijeoma and Almas fortunately broke away from the constraints and plans of their parents and were allowed to live an independent life. 

     At first I blamed the parents and was frustrated that they treated their daughters that way. I wanted to understand why they didn't let their daughters be more free and independent. I then realized that it's not their fault. These parents truly do want their children to be happy, but it comes off as mean and poor parenting because of the inequality found in their society. It is not the fault of the parents, but the fault of society (as usual). If the daughters were to continue living in their country of birth, then in order to live a happy and fulfilling life as described and depicted by that country they would have to commit themselves into becoming the ideal women for that society. Ijeoma would have to clean and cook her life away and Almas would have to be married by 22. Parents often just want their child to fit in. They want their child to live a "normal" life where they would be seen as prosperous and happy by their society. It's not their fault that these societal norms are based in inequality.