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| Brown holds paper dolls that depict him as a king surrounded by his wives. |
Sister Wives, a show that broadcasts the life of a polygamist family, first aired on September 26, 2010. The viewer sees Kody Brown, a middle-aged man, surrounded by his four wives--Janelle, Christine, Robyn, and Meri--living with their seventeen children in Utah. However, the Browns’ life in Utah is short-lived because of the Utah police’s investigation into the Brown family. As a result, the Browns decide to move to Nevada, which is where the family is currently residing. The Browns’ polygamist lifestyle is a way of living that is usually kept quiet in American society. Polygamy is not a typical everyday topic of discussion, but as shows like Sister Wives become a reality, polygamy is pushing its way into mainstream society. Not only is polygamy now a regularly televised source of entertainment, a pro-polygamy law has been passed in Utah. Cecilia Vega of Yahoo! News brings attention to the new law and to the Sister Wives scandal in her article “Sister Wives Prompts Pro-Polygamy Ruling” (14 February 2020). The new law and the show suggest that polygamy is a lifestyle that could eventually become normalized in society. However, the show Sister Wives demonstrates how polygamy acts as another structure in the oppression and devaluation of women.
Sister Wives draws attention to the lesser-known fight over polygamy. Most people are unaware that polygamy crusaders, such as the Brown family, are pushing for the legalization of polygamy. Vega reports that the new law in Utah acts as the “first pro-polygamy ruling in one hundred and thirty years” (Vega). The new law essentially allows for men and women to “co-habitate,” meaning that multiple women can claim one man as their husband and live with him as long as there is only one legal marriage (Vega). Could this be a sign of changing times? Could polygamy become the new norm? The Brown family hopes for a society in which polygamists can live freely and openly. If the Browns win their fight for polygamy, their vision of polygamy being viewed as acceptable, and even as good, in the United States could become a reality.
Although some polygamists such as the Brown family are advocating for the normalization of polygamy, polygamy contributes to the oppression of women because it reinforces male dominance. In a patriarchal society, the male is already considered bymany to be the leading figure in a relationship with one woman, but polygamy allows the man to have authority over multiple women, thus increasing man’s power and privilege. Sister Wivesexemplifies the reinforcing of male dominance that polygamy allows. Kody Brown clearly holds the power in the family. In an episode of the show in which the family moves to Nevada, Brown possesses the authority by having the final say on every disputed matter that arises. For example, one of the children in the Brown family, a teenage girl whose name is Mariah, vehemently opposes the decision to move because of her ties to the church school in Lehi, Utah. Mariah proposes that she be allowed to stay in Lehi until the end of the school year. In this scene of the episode, the audience sees Kody Brown sitting front-and-center as the children and his wives sit before him. Brown holds a position of dominance in this scene as he essentially dictates what the family will do in regard to Mariah’s situation. He never pauses to ask any of his wives’ opinions.
In fact, Brown makes clear that he holds the authority. Brown states, “God has given me a responsibility to keep you under my house…My job as given by God when you were born was to take care of you in my realm and have you in my house until you’re married” (“Gambling on the Future”). Not only does Brown neglect to ask his wives’ opinions about the Mariah situation, he consistently emphasizes that the home is “his” house rather than “our” house, which would include his wives. The continual reference to the house as his suggests that Brown thinks of himself as the leader of the household. Later in the episode, Brown’s dominance over the women continues to be made clear. Mariah’s mom says to Mariah in regard to whether or not she will be allowed to stay in Utah, “I’m doing the best I can, but you’ve heard your dad, his answer” (“Gambling on the Future”). “Dad” has the final word. Mariah’s mom’s input essentially does not matter. The show demonstrates the power dynamic in the Browns’ polygamist relationship, and the power seems to be unfairly shifted toward Kody Brown.
Brown’s lack of consideration of the wives’ opinions about Mariah acts as only one example of polygamy reinforcing male dominance in Sister Wives. In regard to the decision of when to move, Brown again controls the situation. A dispute arises over whether the family should move on Monday, as originally planned, or on Tuesday, as Kody Brown decides later. Brown considerately asks his wives for their opinions after the decision is made. When seeking his wives’ approval about the moving date, Brown does not have a serious discussion with his wives. Instead, he takes a break from talking to the camera and quickly and informally asks the wives about the moving date. As if attempting to treat his wives as equals threatened his power too much, he immediately states after asking for his wife Robyn’s thoughts on the matter, “Robyn’s never had to share a kitchen with the other wives before” (“Gambling on the Future”). Brown clearly puts Robyn and the other wives back in their “place” as a wife in the kitchen. Brown’s statement displays that even a slight threat to the power dynamic of a polygamist relationship must not be allowed.
Because polygamy reinforces male dominance, it acts as another instrument of female oppression. In Oppression, Marilyn Frye describes oppression as a birdcage. Continuing with Frye’s metaphor, polygamy is another wire in the cage. Frye points out that men benefit from the oppression of women (Frye). Similarly, men benefit from polygamy. Many men would love to have multiple wives to attend to their every whim and to live a popularized male fantasy of having multiple lovers. However, women do not benefit from having to vie for the attention of one man every day and from being forced to get along with several other women in such an intimate setting. Women clearly do not reap the same benefits from polygamy as men do. Because polygamy involves multiple wives--not multiple husbands--polygamy allows men to claim dominance over more than one woman without allowing females a similar position of power. Also, the practice allows men more opportunities to womanize by essentially making the practice of having multiple partners acceptable.
By allowing men to have even more privilege than they already possess in society, polygamy undermines the ideal of male-female equality. In “The Declaration of Sentiments,” Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Lucretia Mott write, “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men and women are created equal; they are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness…” (Stanton and Mott). Polygamy opposes the facts that Stanton and Mott declare to be true. Men and women cannot be considered equals when a man holds power over multiple women. Kody Brown is not the only example of male dominance in polygamy. For example, one of the infamous polygamists that Vega mentions in the Yahoo! News article about Sister Wives, Warren Jeffs, forces a young girl to marry his eighty-five year old father without allowing her to have any say in the matter as reported by Daily Mail Reporter in the article "'You will be destroyed in the flesh:' FLDS survivor Rebecca Musser describes how Warren Jeffs threatened her life if she refused sex with his 85-year-old father" (14 September 2013). Jeffs himself was arrested for the possession of underage wives and claimed eighty women as his wives (Vega). The power balance in a polygamist relationship is counterintuitive. Because there are more women, one would think that the women would hold most of the power, but the societal structure allows men to continue to “wear the pants” in polygamist relationships.
Polygamy gives more power to men while stripping women of their right to dignity and freedom of will. Polygamy impairs women’s liberty, which is one of the rights stated in Stanton and Mott’s “The Declaration of Sentiments.” What if one of the wives’ wants to leave her husband? She has to worry about whether or not her children will still get the attention they need from their father because the father is dealing with multiple other wives and children. Also, she must take into consideration the effect leaving her husband will have on the children because leaving him would mean separating her children from their half-siblings if the wife wants to take her children with her. Most likely the woman has become attached to the children of the other wives as well, and leaving the husband means leaving behind those children also. Not only will she have to leave children she loves, she may be left to struggle to support her own children. With her husband having to care for many other children, she may be left with little or no child support from her children’s father. Polygamy easily has the power to make women feel trapped in a relationship. Women have worked and continue to work hard to gain liberation in a patriarchal society, but polygamy only tightens the shackles.
Polygamy, especially as exemplified in Sister Wives, strips women of freedom and power. Susan Douglass talks about “fantasies of female power” in the media in her book Enlightened Sexism. Douglass emphasizes the way in which females are portrayed as holding positions of power in the media, but Sister Wivesdefinitely does not depict an image of powerful women (Douglass 9). Should women be happy that a show like Sister Wives is exposing the true fact that full equality for women is still unaccomplished? As Douglass discusses, women still have a long journey to travel before reaching full equality, and Sister Wives is the perfect example of this very true fact.
Sister Wives also conveys how polygamy devalues women. Kody Brown states, “I adopted a faith that embraces that lifestyle. They like to reward good behavior, so they figure if you’re good with one marriage, you’ll be good with two” (“Gambling on the Future”). According to Brown, polygamy essentially reduces women to prizes for good behavior. What other tokens are given as rewards for good behavior? Shiny star stickers and lollipops are two things that come to mind. Women are being reduced to objects. Under no circumstances should a woman be given as a reward for good behavior.
Although there are many negatives to polygamy such as giving women as a good behavior prize, proponents of the practice argue that polygamy should be legalized because American society is based on freedom. While this may be viewed as a valid argument, this argument of freedom can be misconstrued to support almost anything. Polygamists may also argue that women in polygamist relationships are choosing to be in these types of relationships. While it is true that the women in some polygamist relationships choose to participate in the relationship, one must consider under what circumstances this choice is made. Usually, the women have been raised in such a way that they have been taught to accept polygamy; many polygamist wives lack the information necessary to make the decision to be in a polygamist relationship for themselves . Still, even though some women in a way are choosing to be involved in polygamy, polygamy should still not be legalized to accommodate their choice. If everyone were allowed to do what he or she wants, the society would be in utter chaos with no checks and balances on human behavior . People must consider what is best for society as a whole including the half that is comprised of women. Freedom to practice polygamy comes at the cost of the freedom of women, and women’s freedom should not be sacrificed for anything.
Women’s freedom and equality should be a top priority in society. Sister Wivesdemonstrates that women still are not being treated equally. Yes, women have the vote. Yes, women are working outside of the home, but women’s battle has not been won. The fact that some women are forced or choose because of circumstances to participate in polygamist relationships in which the male is the dominant figure shows that the desire to put females in a position of subordination still exists. While it is true that some women like Meri, Janelle, Robyn, and Christine willingly put themselves in a polygamist relationship, polygamy does not suddenly become a positive practice for women. In the Yahoo! News article, lawyer Marci Hamilton states, “The United Nations has said it's a violation of human rights and a violation of women's rights” (Vega). Too many women have been fighting for freedom for too long for polygamy to become a norm in society. If the Browns gain their wish of the normalization of polygamy, women’s progress towards full equality will be hindered.
Works Cited
Daily Mail Reporter. “'You will be destroyed in the flesh:' FLDS Survivor Rebecca Musser Describes How Warren Jeffs Threatened Her Life If She Refused Sex with His 85-year-old Father.” Daily Mail. Web. 24 Feb. 2020.
Douglass, Susan. Enlightened Sexism. New York: Times Books, 2010. Print.
Frye, Marilyn. Oppression.
“Gambling on the Future.” Prod. Timothy Gibbons and Christopher Pool. Sister Wives. TLC. 22 May 2011. Web. 24 Feb. 2020.
Stanton, Elizabeth and Lucretia Mott. “The Declaration of Sentiments.”
Vega, Cecilia. “Sister Wives Prompts Pro Polygamy Ruling.” Yahoo! News. Web. 15
Feb. 2020.
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