Dating: The Extremes

    In Love Clinic  by Soyon Im, I was surprised and sadded by Im's upbringing with her conservative mother. I understand how her mother could be so protective of her daughter, but it really impacted Im in both negative and positive ways. Im's mother had a conservative upbringing no doubt in Korea, and the world of relationships at the time she was a teen is quite unusual to us, the date loving Americans. Also Im's mother strugged with her own men issues given that her husband was demanding, probably abusive, and ended up deserting the family. Her mother would want to protect her daughter from the fate she suffered herself. I do not believe that the overbearing protection that surrounded Im was beneficial to Im given that she felt forced to rebel against her mother's ideals, but it was perhaps necessary for Im to become her own woman in this age and country.
     I do find the stark contrast between the two types of relationships that this mother and daughter experienced to be extremely interesting. Soyon Im's mother was raised far from America where unmarried men and women must not get too close and must be set up by elders and family members. After several dates which Im accurately described as interviews, the pair of young individuals would decide if they are to be married. How is one supposed to know whether they could fall in love with a person they have never been alone with! I think it's crazy. On the other end of the spectrum lies the world in which Im herself grew up in, no doubt similar to the one that we experience at Colgate, the dating and hook up scene. Here in America, and probably most of the westernized world if not other cultures too, teens and young adults test out what they want in a lifetime partner by spending time with lots of different people. Whether it's a one night stand or a year long relationship, it is by no means uncommon for individuals to have had many many partners before they settle down, if they settle down at all! While I think that this method is definitely better because it allows people to get to know each other and test out possible long-term relationships, often times, especially on college campuses, I think the other extreme is hit. Meaningless hook ups. This is not testing out what one wants in a partner or spending quality time with someone, it's usually a drunk messy one night deal. While I suppose they could be fun, a lot of the time they are probably regretted. But like I shouldn't judge arranged marriages, I will also not judge the hook-up culture. I just think that everyone would be a lot happier if the way relationships and life-partners were founded came from a method somewhere in between the two extremes.