The "Sex 'R' Us" chapter in Enlightened Sexism by Susan Douglass brought up many topics and points that really got me thinking. I'd like to discuss the parts of the chapter that stand out most to me.
First on my list, Jonbenet Ramsey: Reading about the story of Jonbenet Ramset was very difficult for me. I found myself youtubing the story and being horrified by what happened. Not only was I horrified by what happened, I felt surprised that a show like Toddlers and Tiaras would be on television after such a tragic occurrence. Even worse, as Douglass points out, shows featuring Vegas-style little girls are spreading to other channels besides TLC.
Douglass brings up the fact that little girls are being encouraged to be sexual at a young age. She brings up an example that describes Kmart as selling "thongs and midrift-baring halter tops" in the kids section. I really cannot believe that Kmart would sell thongs to little girls. I know Douglass is not lying, but I find it hard to believe. I do know that halter tops are sold to little girls from experience. I remember being very young between the ages of four and six and admiring a girl my age whose mother dressed her in halter tops and short shorts. I wanted to dress like that. I wished my mom dressed me in halter tops too. Thank God my mom didn't. As Jonbenet's story demonstrates, the fact of this world is that there exist many people that look at little girls as sexual objects, so little girls really should not be wearing halter tops and thongs. The whole idea of sexualizing little girls is disturbing to me.
Second on my list is sex-positivity: While reading Douglass, I found myself asking, "What does being a sex positive female really mean?" Is it being sexually promiscuous? Is it flaunting one's body in public? The whole sex positive feminism idea really confuses me. It confuses me because I really don't know what to think about all of the issues that sex positivity include. On one hand, I believe that females should not have to be ashamed of their sexuality. On the other hand, I get that by flaunting one's sexuality a female risks being objectified or categorized derogatorily by men. In regard to sexual promiscuity, I do not necessarily support it, but I don't support it for either gender. That's a personal choice though. I think everyone should be able to make that choice for his or herself, and females should not be punished for "having sex like a man."
Sex positivity is really complicated. I find myself conflicted because it encompasses so many issues of sexuality. Some I support. Others I don't. Mostly, I'm just confused about many of the issues. For example, Douglass brings up Madonna as an example of sex-positive femininity. I've always been conflicted when it comes to the way females singers portray themselves in the media. I don't necessarily think that they shouldn't be able to express their sexuality, but at what point does expressing their sexuality become degrading because of men's response to their sexuality? However, a woman should not not be sexual because of men. If women were to walk around in turtle necks and sweat pants in order to avoid being objectified by males, women would not be living for themselves. They're living in reaction to men, which still gives men power anyway. A great deal of issues of female sexuality are no win situations. As douglass puts it, "Damned if she do. Damned if she don't."
Next topic up for discussion is the "Barbie Aesthetic": Douglass writes, "Conforming to the Barbie aesthetic of femininity and walking the razor-thin line between sexy and slutty is also essential." In no way do I believe that women should have to conform to any standard of beauty. Still, if I'm being honest with myself, sometimes I really wish I did fit into the Barbie aesthetic. Part of me wishes I did have the perfect body, perfect hair, and amazing style. The part of me that doesn't want this must be greater because I don't try to achieve the Barbie aesthetic, which is good.
Later in the chapter, Douglass mentions how Sex and the City "denounces living in a culture that 'promotes impossible standards of beauty.'" What is really hard for young females today is that so many females do conform to these standards of beauty. When other girls are fitting into these impossible standards, the standards no longer seem so impossible. It becomes hard not to want to fit into beauty standards because other girls have done it.
Fourth topic is rap music: Oh my god. The lyrics that Douglass quotes are just appalling. I mean, I do listen to rap music, but those lyrics were shocking even by today's standards. I do hate that rap songs attack women, but it's like I've grown so used to it that sometimes I don't even notice the attack on females in some rap songs. It's a shame that men make money by verbally attacking women, err I mean, "bitches and hoes."
Recently, Nicki Minaj has provided females with a song that fights the trend of women-bashing in rap songs. Miss Minaj released a song named "Lookin Ass (warning explicit lyrics)" which bashes men. She dedicates the whole song to "dissing" men. Honestly, it is refreshing to listen to that song because it's so different seeing a female do what men have done for so many years. I'm not saying that either women-bashing or men-bashing is right, but one clearly occurs in rap music more than others. The funny thing is that Minaj received so much backlash from males for criticizing them as if male rappers didn't verbally degrade women in nearly every song. (Multiple artists have even made a reply to Nicki called "lookin ass bitches," and these remixes are very harsh.) However, I must point out that Minaj is very sexualized in the video. She wears a cut out dress that barely covers her and a cutout body suit with fishnet stockings. So this raises the question, who wins, Minaj or the men?
Last Douglass topic is the word "bitch": I completely agree with everything Douglass has said about the word "bitch." Females have not reclaimed this word. So what if girls are running around calling themselves "boss ass bitches" and "five star bitches?" Why does that matter when as soon as a male gets upset with a female he calls her a bitch? Why does that matter when a guy is screaming "My bitch bad" as if his girlfriend were his pitbull?
I know that was a lot, but as I said, Douglass really got me thinking.
No comments:
Post a Comment