Rejecting the Stereotype

      I completely agree with Ben in that the statistics from the article "Not Wanting Kids Is Entirely Normal" by Valenti were shocking. I had no idea that one half of the pregnancies that occur in the United States are unintended and that after abortions and miscarriages, one third of the babies born in the United States are unplanned. I had always assumed that most pregnancies were planned, individuals decided they wanted children, and that accidental pregnancies were the minority. But given these statistics, I now understand why there are over 400,000 children in foster homes. Half of the time, these people are not financially able or emotionally capable to support and raise children at the time they become pregnant.
But sometimes, or even a lot oft the time, parents are capable of having children, but they just know it's not for them. Parenthood isn't something they want on their bucket list, for many reasons. Perhaps they want to use the time it takes to raise the child for another endeavor, they don't want to be stay at home parents, they'd rather pursue a career, or perhaps they're simply not fond of children. For whatever reason it is, it seems that more and more in our society that this mindset is becoming the norm.
      Yet clearly it is not the norm because it seems almost that many adults are tricked into having kids. They do it because they feel it's something they should or must do to become fulfilled as human beings. Or that because if everyone else is having kids, they must too. And especially for the woman, being female is still seen as synonymous with being a nurturing mother with many children. Women who don't follow this pattern are seen as incomplete, different, outsiders etc. And then so, if these parents are pressured enough, they then have children they wouldn't want to care for which hinders the development of the child and can lead to depression in the parents.
      Reading this article made me think back to a conversation I had with a friend not too long ago. The friend, I'll call her Emily, and I were talking about the future and what our plans might be for after college. I asked her if she'd ever thought about having children, and if that was something she wanted in life. She flat out said no. She said, "I don't want any little Emilys' running around. I couldn't do it." I'm not going to lie, I was quite taken aback. I just assumed that one day I'd have children and all my friends I've ever known will have children also, even though I don't know myself if I'm planning on having kids. Immediately assuming this made me realize that I've been conditioned to believe that part of a women's life is having children, that it's a mandatory event. I was raised with that mindset.
      All along I had thought I was a neutral party, but clearly after all I have heard from our society and culture my immediate reaction to a friends rejection of the stereotype proved otherwise. And that made me think, if I decide not to have children when I'm older, will I be judged? Or will my choice be accepted? I hope it's the latter.