This week I'd like to do something different with my blog post. Instead of writing a traditional paragraphed post, I would like to take a few quotations from the readings and write what I think about those quotations. So here we go:
1. "My mother overdepends on me. It's reversed-I am the parent she is the child. I see other parents not depending on their kids and the kids have the opportunity to go out in the world and find themselves."
-Erica Martinez, Dutiful Hijas
This quote touched on feelings that I have personally. Every word in this quote captures how I've been feeling lately. As a young adult, pressure from family can be too much sometimes. I try my best to be a good daughter and to be selfless, but sometimes I wish I didn't have to choose between myself and being a good daughter. My mom relies on me so much; it's like I take care of her. However, I know that is just how family works. Families work together and help each other. Although my mom's dependence on me becomes too much sometimes, I never regret doing whatever I can to be a good daughter to a loving mom.
2. "In marianismo, it is a woman's duty to be subservient and submissive, not to make decisions for herself."
-Erica Martinez, Dutiful Hijas
I wrote about this in a separate blog post, but this quote reminds me of the "Eat the Cake" controversy surrounding Beyonce's song "Drunk in Love." I still feel like Jay Z's lyrics reinforce the idea that it is a "a woman's duty to be subservient and submissive." Not to mention his lyrics were disrespectful to Tina Turner. Maybe I'm making a big deal out of a few lyrics, but that's just how I feel about it.
3. "This is by no means saying that being a mother and wife aren't wonderful things. But they are aspects of the self in relation to others. My mother was la mama de...la esposa de...but maybe she wanted at times to just be her, in her own right."
-Erica Martinez, Dutiful Hijas
I really can't imagine having my whole identity be defined in relationship to others. I never really felt like I was defined as Phyllis' daughter. However, as I was thinking about this quote, I remembered something that bothered me when I was younger. I was always defined as "Milan's sister." That was my name for a while. Still, I don't think that's the same. Even though it bothered me sometimes, I still very much felt that I had a strong sense of identity without viewing myself in relation to others.
4. "Your personal choices as a woman depend entirely on how you define yourself."
-Juleyka Lantigua, Man of the House
When I was younger I never defined myself as what some girls refer to as a "girly girl." I guess this showed in my personal choices. I chose to hang out with boys in my neighborhood and had very few girl friends in my neighborhood. Not only did I choose to hang out with boys, I always sought to prove that anything a boy could do I could do too. I always wanted to go on the father-son adventures my dad took my brother on(although I wasn't allowed to most times). Anyway, my point is I think Martinez' statement is true.
5. "Because of my stepfather's lack of involvement with the family, socially prescribed roles didn't fit in my house. The sisters were the mother. The mother was the man."
-Juleyka Lantigua, Man of the House
Although the situations are different, socially prescribed roles didn't fit in my house either, at all. My mom was the "man". My mom did everything. She not only worked but she took care of us in every way too. I really admire my mom for that. She raised three children essentially on her own. If I can be half the woman that my mom is, I know I'll be ok in life.
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