Sex and the Self

The mom in "Love Clinic" by Soyom Im makes me think of my own mom. My mom's not nearly that bad when it comes to sex, but I've always been taught that sex is just something you don't do until you're married. I could never ever talk to my mom about sex. Even now, I don't feel comfortable with it. If I do bring sex up, I'll get the same reaction that Im does. As I was reading the story, I knew that Im's mom's approach to sex would lead to Im rebelling against that. Teenagers are already trying to discover what it means to be an adult, so it's only natural that Im would challenge her mom's views and think about sex on Im's own terms.

"Love Clinic" and the Yes Means Yes chapter led me to challenge my own views about sex. I've always been taught that sexual promiscuity is something that is not okay, the first time should be "special," and that sex with anyone other than a boyfriend (husband according to my mom) is absolutely unacceptable. The two readings made me realize that I do not know how I feel about sex. I know how my mom, stepmom, and sister have told me to feel about it, but I never really developed my own views. I simply adopted the views of other people.

I'm not even sure if my views of the perfect first time are really mine. Heather Corinna challenges the ideal first time in Yes Means Yes. She proposes a new concept of what sex should be like for girls. Although Corinna states that her concept of sex is not merely fantasy, some of the scenes she describes seem as idealized as the first scene of the typical ideal first time that she discusses. However, what I take away from this chapter is that sex for female needs to change. The expectations of sex for females, the myth of the perfect first time, and how parents approach sex in regard to their children all need to be altered.

I still don't know how I feel about sex after reading Im and Corinna. If anything, I feel more confused than ever, but I'm glad that I feel confused because I know that I'm thinking about sex for myself. I'm not simply accepting society's views or my family's views of what sex should be like for me.